


Penacing oneself

by TFALokiwriter



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Counterparts - Freeform, Gen, Guilt, Old Age, Planet, Refuge, Sorrow, Trust, Vulcan, Young
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 13:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6053473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TFALokiwriter/pseuds/TFALokiwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An Alternate Universe Ending to 'Emotional, physical, and mental'. Instead of the <em>Enterprise</em> being saved in the nick of time, things do not work out as they intended and a certain someone is left with sorrow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Penacing oneself

**Stardate Twenty-two sixty-one.**

"We have Khan from the planet Qo'noS and we intend to make him stand trial for the deaths he has instigated," Spock replied. "And some unsettling information has come out regarding your part with the missiles we have on our ship. He only was acting out  because he believed you killed his crew."

"Shit, you talked to Khan." Came Marcus's voice.

"Affirmative."  Spock said.

"Hand him over." Marcus said.

"Negative," Spock replied. "Our transporter is having problems working at the moment and I am . . . unaware. . . what is causing the outage."

"That is not true," Wallace said. "They are work--"

"What did I hear?" Marcus asked.

"You heard that the transporters are working imprecisely," Spock said. "If we were to beam Khan aboard then we would leave a sad bitter representation of him. Spock out." Spock pressed a button on the arm rest to the captain's chair.  "Mr Chekov, can we jump to warp?"

"We can but the warp core is still hobbled." Came Chekov's statically reply.

Spock looked up in the direction of Sulu.

"Warp six," Spock ordered. "Head to Earth."

The _Enterprise_ jumped into warp.

A minute later Carol Marcus came onto the bridge with a panicked look about her face.

"Captain!" Carol shouted, Spock looked over in her direction. "He can attack in warp!"

Suddenly the _Enterprise_ tilted sideways followed by a couple blasts to the nacelles.  The lights in the room briefly went out and some of the bridge personnel was sent falling to the ground. Smoke clouded the air, the sounds of electricial wires were singing in the air, and there were coughs from all over. Spock got up feeling an ache in his head. The screen sizzled to life to display a royally pissed of Admiral Marcus staring at Spock's direction.

"Give up, and hand him over," Marcus said. "It will make this much easier."

Instead, that sounded like a  threat to Spock.

"I do not believe in no-win scenarios." Spock said.

"Your funeral." Marcus said.

"Father!" Carol came to the view screen rubbing her shoulder.

Marcus's eyes widened.

"Carol?" Marcus said,in disbelief.

"If you are going to kill them, well, you can't do it with me on board." Carol said.

There was a pause.

"Well then," Marcus said. "You are right. I can't do it without you on that ship."

"No!" Carol screamed,vanishing in a golden flash running out of the bridge.

"I hereby condem you to death for aiding with a terrorist." Marcus said.

"Admiral," Spock said. "Since I am the one who who did this, and gave the orders, would it be logical to kill the one was responsible? I am the captain of this ship, responsible for the actions of my crew, and if I give you Khan's location, my only request is that you spare those who had no choice but to obey my command. It is only logical that captain suffers rather than the crew."

That was as bout as the only plead from Spock for the admiral.

"Well, that's a hell of a reasoning," Marcus said. "But for any consultation I was _never_ going to spare you." There were gasps. It was logical that Spock was recording the conversation for later proof of what had happened in the destruction of the _Enterprise_ or in the time when they came to Earth safely. "Fire when. . ."

Suddenly a Klingon starship appeared out of thin air and started to attack the Vengeance.

Spock turned in the direction of Uhura.

Uhura nodded pressing a red glowing option on the screen.

"Lieutenant, send this recording to Star Fleet." Spock said.

Spock turned away to see that on the screen thee Klingon starship had been destroyed, floating in pieces. The view screen returned with a grim looking Admiral Marcus, both hands on the arm rest, and his mood more sour. Spock could hear there being a familiar voice off screen requesting to be let go.  Marcus gestured over to the people who were off screen bringing forth a familiar face with the forehead of a Klingon.

"Jim." Spock said.

"I just sent your best engineer back to your ship," Marcus said. "You are defeated, captain. Got any last words?"

Kirk's eyes had widened.

Spock held his hand out doing the Vulcan salute, emotionlessly.

"Live long and prosper." Spock said.

Uhura had tears in her eyes covering her mouth.

"Fire away." Marcus said.

"NoooOOooo!" Kirk screamed.

In five minutes, nothing was left. Just scrap metal flying in the air and bodies that were completely vaporized by the artillery. Kirk collapsed to his knees feeling a part of himself was taken away. Snatched. There was a void in his heart at a devastating loss. Tears strolled down the captain's cheeks. The scrap metal was then vaporized, destroyed, essentially. Nothing remained of the _Enterprise_ that once stood close to Earth behind the moon.

"If you tell anyone about this, _anyone_ ," Marcus said. "Your family is dead."

"YOU BASTARD!" Kirk shouted, lunging at him only to be stopped by the security officials.

* * *

 **Stardate twenty-twenty ninety-fou** r.

Kirk had assimilated completely into his identity as Warren Montegrio. He watched Qo'noS be destroyed. He watched Star Fleet get into a war with Klingons and a war that tore Star Fleet into pieces but otherwise made it become warriors not explorers as they were in the beginning. Kirk visited Spock Prime when he could before the war broke out. He did something that caught the Vulcan off guard. Something took over Kirk and had Kirk forcefully transfer the contents of Jim Kirk into the Vulcan. Whatever he had did pissed off the Vulcan. Kirk was escorted out of the building by a student.

Carol Marcus disowned her father and went in the resistance with the Klingons.

Carol died in the war.

Now, here he was on new Qo'noS with the survivors of the Klingon race. He was still working on their restoration. Much to the dismay of the Federation. He posed himself as their leader. Kirk used his skills and knowledge to keep them safe on a planet that was considered 'unhabitable' as classified by the Vulcans long ago. Klingons barely trusted the federation. The Vulcans were dead serious liars. It was a spare planet populated by some Vulcans decades ago that lacked warp drive in case there was moments in time where the Vulcans would become vulnerable. It wasn't New Vulcan.

It was Refuge II.

These days, he is Warren Montegrio.

With memories of his counterpart still residing in his memory.

"Montregio!" Skarol called.

Montegrio looked up from the young illed Klingon named Dwarn.

"What is it?" Montegrio asked.

"Star Fleet is here." Skarol said.

Montegrio got up, his eyes full of intent and rage. War can change a man including the loss of innocents and a entire planet. He wasn't as young as he had been four decades ago. His legs had started to get sore. He felt sluggish. It seemed like a lifetime ago that Montegrio had been a youthful man. Montegrio gestured over for a Klingon nurse to attend to young Dwarn.

"Where are they?" Montegrio asked.

"In holding." Skarol said.

"In holding!" Montegrio said. "They should be facing a firing squad."

"It seems. . . they are adapt." Skarol said, as he took Montegrio to the prisoners.

"They cannot be that adapt." Montegrio said, his eyebrows furrowed.

"They request to speak with our leader and claim they will explain then." Skarol said.

Montegrio had heavy, dark shoulders.

"I can't believe we are on a planet populated by Klingons and Vulcans! They never get along together!"

"It is highly illogical."

"Calm down, Bones, Spock, it is likely a secret civilization!"

Montegrio came to a stop along with Skarol at the door to the cells where he saw a familiar face, actually, three familiar faces. All of which were still in their youth, their prime, so to speak. It was like not a day happened! Like this was their counterparts. The blood in his face drained to become white. He nearly fell back only to be caught by Skarol's arms.  Spock stared clearly at the Klingon man, arms behind his back, with a raised eyebrow muttering "Fascinating."  McCoy furrowed his eyebrows.  Kirk was blinking, multiple times, struggling to believe who and what he is seeing. The young man pinched his skin.

"What year is it?" Montegrio asked.

"Stardate twenty-two sixty-one." Spock replied.

"Alexander Marcus?" Montegrio asked.

"Who is Alexander Marcus?" Kirk asked,wary.

Montegrio had a sigh of relief.

"You never met him." Montegrio said.

"No, we have not." McCoy said.

"Do you know him?" Spock asked.

Montegrio closed his eyes. 

"You can say that," Montegrio said. "He is the reason why I am here."

"My emperor, who are they?" Skarol asked.

"They are no threat to the Klingons," Montegrio said. "Send them back to their ship."

"Hold on,"  Kirk said. "We intend to know why this planet came out of no where in the place where Vulcan had been."

"Your Spock is alive," Montegrio said. "You must leave this place and we will not, at all, accept federation help, Kaptain Kirk." Skarol nodded to the two guards who then unlocked the door. "And so is your Bones alive as well. I highly request you do not. . ." Montegrio felt a tear come down his cheek feeling dread and immense blocked sorrow seeping through. "Bother us. You will be eskorted to the field of _New Enterprise_."

Kirk stepped forward.

"You lost your ship?" Kirk said.

"She wasn't mine to take." Montegrio said.

"She was _your_ ship!" Kirk said.

Montegrio grabbed Kirk by the neck then smacked him against the wall with immense strength.

"Don't you ever say that," Montegrio said, squeezing his grip. Kirk noticed there being a necklace around the older man's neck being that of the _Enterprise_. The original _Enterprise_ he had seen in the mind meld with Spock Prime. "Ever say that to me, again, or else I am ordering a fire squad. You are a relic, of a man, once a poster boy, until he vanished and no one ever knew whatever happened to him."

"I advise you drop him,captain." Spock said, with Skarol on the floor and the two guards holding a phaser at the back of the man's head.

" _Kaptain_ Spock. She was your ship. You were always the kaptain. I--He could always trust she was safe in your hands. Kaptain Kirk sucked at being captain.  Now if you do prefer to have your kaptain, alive and unharmed, then you will lower your phaser. You will also leave with Doktor MkKoy and Kaptain Kirk to the _Enterprise_. You will label this planet a quarantined zone. No one indigenous to my universe is leaving this planet."

"But those kids--" McCoy started to say.

"I am the temporary emperor of this planet, unless, you want your kaptain dead," Montegrio said. "Which, as I understand, is contrary to the positive universe."

Spock lowered his phaser down.

Montegrio threw him into the arms of the  Vulcan making the two fall on the ground.

McCoy looked up in the direction of Montegrio.

"You are Jim!" McCoy said.

The name was so unfamiliar then to hear it from Bones.

"Go. Back. To. The. Damn. Ship."

"Fine, but there will be others."

"Do not tempt me, Wulcan."

The group of three fled with Kirk flipping out his communicator.

* * *

**. . . Star date twenty-two sixty-one. . .**

**. . . One month later.  . .**

"I told them once, I will tell them twice," Montegrio said. "They will lose anyone they send down here."

"They appear to be stubborn," Skarol said. "But their latest visitor. . . is an elder. We do not kill elders."

"After I talk with him or her, they are going straight back to space with the same resolwe they kame down with," Montegrio said, twirling his finger. "Mark my words."

Skarol came to a stop at the doorway.

"This is far as I go with you." Skarol said.

"The last Vulcan still fresh on your mind?" Montegrio asked.

"It is." Skarol said.

Montegrio snickered.

"Coward." Montegrio said.

Montegrio entered the room. He saw a familiar short, gray haired figure. It had been four decades since he had last seen Spock Prime. Someone who he had obviously betrayed to bestow upon his old friend that did not belong in his mind.  Montegrio walked into the room with the doors closing behind him. There was a side of the old ambassador that he had admired. Spock Prime never spoke with Montegrio after the incident, ever.

The older Vulcan turned away from the window.

"Captain--" The Vulcan stopped, his eyes dead set on the sixty year old man. "Jim?"

"Montegrio." Montegrio said.

Spock Prime approached the man.

"How did you get out of the Nexus? How did you get on this planet? How did this planet come here? This is illogical--" Montegrio held up his hand at the concerned and confused Vulcan. "You  are. . . a emperor? That is illogical of you."

"My name is Warren Montegrio, Ambassador Selek," Montegrio said. "And I am not your Jim."

The Vulcan raised an eyebrow.

"I see no difference in the way you were when I last saw you before my departure." Spock Prime said.

"Selek," Montegrio said. "Kirk died over forty years ago in the event of the _Enterprise_ being destroyed. Qo'noS is gone. We do not hawe any forms of friendship. Mr Spock died forty years ago starting a war that should newer hawe been."  He cleared his throat. "I am a Klingon halfbreed not a human."

Spock Prime stepped forward.

"You have guilt," Spock Prime said. "Surely, you must have had a part."

Montegrio turned away.

"Go home." Montegrio said.

"I cannot with there being countless Vulcans willing to aid in the restoration of their culture--" Spock Prime was cut off by Montegrio.

Montegrio turned in the direction of Spock Prime.

"Do you understand what that would do?" Montegrio asked. "If they touched their own kounterparts then everthing we know would be destroyed."

"Not true, Jim,  if it were then I wouldn't be standing here," Spock Prime said. "And why do you call yourself this name? The Klingon DNA in your blood stream. . . for so long. . . You might be one but in the heart you are a human. I have learned humans cannot conceal their identity forever."

"I saw one person die today touching their kounterpart," Montegrio said. "I am not ready to see another."

"Perhaps we can compromise," Spock Prime said. "An order of 'no interaction with the counterparts' of your universe with mine."

"No one trusts the federation. Not everyone does." Montegrio said.

"And you suffer the same resentment?" Spock Prime asked.

"I saw everyone I know, I cared about, die by the hands of Star Fleet," Montegrio said. "I have been working on Refuge II for forty years establishing Klingon Colonies and restoring their culture. I had to work with the Wulcans and Klingons to get these two on equal terms. The Wulcans are friendly, but they are the only ones the Klingons trust about now.  I plan on having someone reveal them to the open world when kivilization has been restored. But right now? That is still fresh on their minds."

"I find it hard to believe Star Fleet would do that." Spock Prime said.

"They just sent you to say that bull shit." Montegrio said, walking around the table eying at the Vulcan.

"Jim," Spock Prime said. "I do not say shit about bulls nor do I have necessary language to do that. Also, keeping them secluded on one planet will make famine, over-population, and problems that can be handled if they were taken off--"

"Only thirty-two thousand Klingons remain and twenty-one thousand Wulcans liwe in harmony with them," Montegrio said. "They trust them because they have serwed with them for years. They share something in common: their word. Unlike this uniwerse where they do not share the same trust, I do not want to jeopardize that by skidding them out of their environment. It has to be their choice. I don't think they are willing to trust a power that destroyed their planet, YET!"

"They . . . what?" Spock Prime said, surprised.

"My Federation destroyed Qo'noS," Montegrio said. "Do you see why I prefer not to make their hate escape this planet with them? I picked up the pieces, getting what Klingons I could, and then went off to this planet that was under the radar. One the federation wouldn't kare about."

"A Klingon-Vulcan hybrid is very unlikely." Spock Prime said.

"We hawe plenty of them." Montegrio said.

Spock Prime raised his eyebrows.

"Hybrids?" Spock Prime asked.

"Yes." Montegrio said.

"Are they happy?" Spock Prime asked, in a low voice.

"Most the hybrids control their anger, but some . . . some want wengeance, and then we have pacifists. Now they, are just, really content with this planet," Montegrio said. "And I speak for them." He put his hand on the table glaring at the direction of Spock Prime. "The ones who do not want another war that destroys their society."

"I understand your logic," Spock Prime said. "But the day they become a society again is clearly going to happen after you have died. This planet has warp drive and buildings that are clearly technology based. I do not want to know how they are capable of making technology . . . But do tell me."

"We just have the brightest minds." Montegrio said.

"Why do you call yourself by this name, James?" Spock Prime said.

Montegrio froze.

"Don't call me that." Montegrio said.

"That is your name," Spock Prime said. "You can tell me." There was fear in the eyes of the man. "You are afraid. That is illogical. You have no reason to be afraid." Montegrio sat down into the chair composing himself. "Unlike many of the people at the federation, I am not prepared to judge you over your previous actions killing the ones who have come to this planet."

So Montegrio started from the beginning on the cell with his friends. He went on and on telling the story, emotionless, speaking of how he met himself, how he went through the academy for the second time,and how he was betrayed by Star Fleet. He spoke of how he met people who mattered to him. How he brought together a group of Klingons to form the crew of the New Kelvin. How they were coming to Earth only to spot an all out attack being prepared against the _Enterprise_. It didn't look too good.

Montegrio concluded the story with the destruction of the _Enterprise_.

"I grieve with thee." Spock Prime said, placing a hand on the shoulder of Montegrio.

Spock Prime could feel guilt, tremendous guilt.

"Some of the Wulcans do not want to meddle with history," Montegrio said. "My days of galloping across the galaxy are over."

Spock Prime took his hand off the human's shoulders.

"Why do you say that?" Spock Prime asked.

"My duty is to the Klingons."  Montegrio said.

"No, your duties are to those you rule over not just the Klingons," Spock Prime said. "Logically, you must consider them as well. Overpopulation will become a problem in the near future."  The man sighed. "Look at me, captain, don't look at me like you've hurt me."

Montegrio had a moment to himself considering the statement.

 _"His logic is sound."_ Montegrio heard the voice of his Spock from over his shoulder.  His Spock still sounded young.  Montegrio must be imagining things again.

 _"Talk to him, Jim,"_ Montegrio heard the voice of the disembodied McCoy. _"He can listen to you. Actually talk to him."_

 _"It will relieve you of the burden on your shoulders, captain."_ Came Spock's voice again, sounding right beside him.

 _"Vulcan's actually agreeing with me."_ McCoy said, sounding amused.

 _"It is only logical."_ Came Spock's reply.

Montegrio cleared his throat, turning his head in the direction of Spock Prime.

"I forcefully sent Kirk Prime to his Spock's mind,"  Montegrio said. "My way was unconventional. I betrayed his trust when conducting a type of meld that eased ones pain or something close to that. He wanted to help me. I could not allow him to feel the pain I went through." Montegrio turned his head in the direction of the older Vulcan. "Do I really look like I have hazel eyes to you?"

"You lost your crew, and your family," Spock Prime said. "That is understandable. But you must move on. Let the past go and set an example."

 _"Listen to him,"_   McCoy insisted. " _Damn it, Jim, you better listen!"_

 _Fine,_ Montegrio thought _, I will!_

"My question, Ambassador Spock." Montegrio asked.

"Yes," Spock Prime said. "Your eyes are not light blue but hazel. You look a lot like my Jim."

"I will newer be him," Montegrio said. "I am not going to leawe this planet."

Spock Prime had a look of disbelief on his face.

"It is penance for a mistake you regret," Spock Prime said. "You are too old for this, Jim." The  Vulcan sat down alongside the older man. "You may not be my Jim, but by the inside, you are Captain James Tiberius Kirk and the outside you are someone trying desperately to be someone that you are not. That is who you are. I can help with your acceptance of who you are, I once had the guilt you had on your shoulders. Being responsible for the loss of _a_ planet."

Montegrio sighed.

"I can't go back to calling myself that name," Montegrio said. "I am a different person. I believe this version of Star Fleet would get confused."

"They do not have to know." Spock Prime said, earning a look of surprise.

"Your Jim loved you, dearly," Montegrio said. "I know you two are T'hy'las."  Spock Prime raised an eyebrow. "He is gone, but, he is waiting for you."

Spock Prime lowered his eyebrow.

"We were never T'hy'la." Spock Prime said.

"What?" Montegrio said.

"You heard me, we were never that significant to one another." Spock Prime said.

"You are linked to him." Montegrio said.

"So?" Spock Prime said. "My katra made be connected to his, but it was purely platonic. We were brothers. And since you claim to be a different person, may  I have the liberty of seeing this for myself?" The brown kind eyes stared at back at him offering condolence. "I will not harm you."

Montegrio closed his eyes then he reopened.

"All right," Montegrio said. "But do not pry where you should not venture."

"I will not." Spock Prime said, placing a hand on the side of Montegrio's face.

The Vulcan closed his eyes conducting the mind meld. Slowly, yet delicately, a smile grew on the Vulcan's face. What memories were he seeing? It confused the man. What was there ever a good time to smile about? Perhaps he was smiling at something in the past that Kirk had done or taught him. After awhile, the Vulcan took his hand off the side of Montegrio's face.  The smile had faded.

"You are Warren Montegrio." Spock Prime said.

"What were you smiling about?"  Montegrio asked.

"The other Jim left something in you," Spock Prime said. "Something that never happened."

"And what was that?"  Montegrio asked.

There was a look of kindness on the Vulcan's face.

"A brief conversation regarding us being space husbands," Spock Prime said.

"You miss him." Montegrio noted.

"He was a irrational and . . ." Spock Prime started.

"Illogical human being."  Montegrio finished the familiar phrase.

Spock Prime nodded.

"Of course I miss him," Spock Prime said. "Every day. I miss Leonard. I miss my family on the _Enterprise_. Then  I see young representative versions of ourselves and I wonder to myself _'were we that in-experienced? That reckless?_ ' Of course we were in our youth. When I see the timeline attempting to fix itself, I am convinced that we are meant to be on that ship."

"The universe hasn't been korrecting me." Montegrio said.

"There must be a reason why you were brought here," Spock Prime said. "And I suspect is to forgive yourself."

 "I have some of his memories . . ." Montegrio said. "Our minds started to integrate, meld together, really, in the time we were stuck in the same mind.  I don't know if any of the missions other old Spock shared with the Jim I knew are the same for you . . ." Spock Prime took the hand of the older man. "I am scared, Spock," Montegrio's eyes were emotional as he looked over toward Spock Prime. "I am scared of what would happen to these Wulcans and Klingons if I leawe. Help me not be."

"One, you can lose that accent," Spock Prime said. "And two, you can work with me on that compromise.  And I will help you. Star Fleet will help _both_ races."

Montegrio smiled: it was sad, much worried and both concerned for the people he had been looking out for forty years.

"Can I trust you?" Montegrio asked. "With their lives?"

"You can, Jim." Spock Prime said, squeezing Montegrio's hand.

A lone tear came down Montegario's cheek.

"Good," Montegrio said. His shoulders relaxed being a light.  As a comforted smile grew on Montegrio's face. A familiar, yet warm smile that Spock Prime had seen countless times on his old friend's face. "I have plenty of rules that needed to be abide by Star Fleet for these Klingons and Vulcans, including the hybrids, such as. . ."

 **The End**.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the beginning is copied and pasted directly from the ending of the story this diverges from and edited.


End file.
